Robin

Frozen In Time

TITLE: Frozen In Time
AUTHOR: bookishgeek
RATING: G
WORD COUNT: 605
FEEDBACK: On || FEEDBACK TYPE: Tactful
WARNING: None known.
SUMMARY: Snapshot of a twenty-something's apartment.
PROMPTS: "Write a still-life".
A/N: Enjoy! I'm not used to creative nonfiction, so critiques are welcome!

-------------------------

The front door is heavy and green, numbers outside declaring it "58". A small green planter hangs on a chain beside it, its mouth yawning open, waiting for Spring to arrive and a plant to fill its space. You twist the knob and push forward, the door swinging gently inwards, and you ease it behind you. A small end table rests at your feet, on it a lamp and a scent burner, a melted wax tart on its top.

A heavy cardboard shoebox sits on a coffee table a few feet away, its contents a mixture of nail polishes of all shapes and sizes. Beside it rests a set of four coasters in a holder, and beside those a sweating bottle of water that should probably make use of them. You pick up the top coaster, set it down, and place the water bottle gingerly on top of that. A remote control, the controller for some sort of video game system which you think is an X-bag or something, and a battered paperback copy of "Library 101" with a highlighter and a post-it note poking out from between its pages.

The floor is littered with leaves and straw grass and dirt from outside - you think that you probably tracked some of that in, but also that it's awfully hard to not track any of that in - it is way too messy outside and this floor is all carpeted. Scattered around here and there are what appear to be cat toys - catnip mice with their stuffing falling out, jingling plastic balls, and you bend to pick up what appears to be an overgrown twist-tie, cousin to the one you keep on your bread. Your eyes trail to the bookshelf, packed full of DVDs, video games and books. There are a few genres you are familiar with here, and what looks like the entire opus of The Sims 3 franchise. You twist a lock of hair around your finger and read the summary on the back of a book you select from the shelf, setting it back down again.

She left the kitchen light on, you think, and you flick it off to save her on the power bill. A few stray piece of cat kibble are on the tile, kicked underneath the lip of the lower cabinets. Popcorn kernels are down here too, and what appears to be the pull tab from a frozen microwave dinner. Neaby sits a water bowl and a small porcelain dish half-full of what you imagine is probably cat food, but looks like the contents of a one year old's diaper.

You take a peek into the bathroom, with its pink and white color scheme, and the bedroom does not yield anything too amazing - a neatly organized dresser and a bookshelf that has been repurposed as a bedside table, its shelved packed full of shoes. A necklace organizer hangs on the wall, and you let the pendants play against your skin as you examine them all. Lots of pillows are on the bed, along with three stuffed animals and a whole host of empty or almost-empty plastic water bottles.

Standing by the front door again, you crack your knuckles and give the apartment a once-over one more time. If you had to give this space a caption, it would probably be entitled something like "the busy life of the American twenty-something," but maybe that's not quite right. "the tumultuous life of a graduate student?" No. "the banal life of a single American?" No. "the perfect space for its inhabitant"? That one ... we might be able to work with that one.


-------------------------

This was written for week 1 day 2 for the community thewritinggame. Feedback is welcome and wanted from everyone, community participant and friend alike!
  • Current Mood: lazy lazy
This is interesting. I don't usually find myself drawn in by second person, but I think it works for what you're going for. Better than the other common POVs even.
The use of second person here is interesting and created a sort of distance from the narrator and the person who owns the house.
I like this lots, the second person invites the reader right inside the house. (Your house? It sounds wonderfully homey and filled with cats and study). I love second person done well, and this is really nice.